“Hey Dad, can you help me with something?” I didn’t realize when my 10-year old asked me this question last Saturday morning that the answer would take up the rest of the day and hurt both of us in different ways. I was folding laundry when she called me from the other room, because well… laundry. Anyhow, she came out and told me that she had a problem with her earring. Before looking at it, I thought, “Why would she ask me? Does she know that I formerly had not only an earring, but also dashingly stylish blonde highlights in my hair?” What else does this girl know about me? She said that something went wrong with the back of the earring when she was taking it out, so I turned her ear around to find that the earring back was literally INSIDE her ear lobe! My tummy turned, because I basically get light-headed at the sight of blood… or an earring stuck inside a lobe. I calmly told her that we would take care of this and that she would be fine. I internally said, “OH MY GAWSHHH!” Continue reading Being Available to Our Kids: Dad, Can You Help Me?
“Make it a point to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable every single day. You’ll be amazed by how empowered you’ll feel. And naturally, if you pass this lesson along to your kids, you’ll help them become confident and empowered too!” Read on as Natalie Charrette, 8th grade teacher and Vice Principal at Bay Christian School, shares how she taught her kids to overcome fear of the unknown.
Instilling confidence in our children, now grown, was always a parental priority for my husband and I. We always made it a point to role-play different scenarios to teach our son and daughter how to speak clearly, look a person in the eye when talking and shake hands firmly. We taught them to listen more and speak less. We conversed often about stepping out of their comfort zones and when feeling in doubt, ask questions within a conversation.
When our son, Tyler was in junior high, we attended a neighborhood party, which he begrudgingly joined, although it wasn’t an option. We gave him the mature task of conversing with an adult at some point during the evening, to which he just gave us the “yeah right” look. Part way through the party, as my husband and I were mingling we noticed Tyler, surrounded by an unfamiliar family. A mom, dad and kids were all talking and laughing with him. My husband and I looked at each other inquisitively and wondered who this family was… or who our son was for that matter! A little later, Tyler joined us in amazement at how well that question thing went. “So, this dad asked me if I played sports. The next thing I know we’re in a full conversation. I just kept asking him questions, then his family started talking to me. Before I knew it, we were all laughing together.”
Mission accomplished, our son learned a new skill that made him realize that speaking with adults and people you have never met is not as scary as it seems.
When our daughter Michaela was nine years old, I told her we were going to swing by the store to grab some milk. She smiled and nodded in agreement until I parked the car in front of the store and handed her some money. “Why are you giving me money?” she asked. “So you can buy some milk,” I responded. Next, it was a back-and-forth with her attempting to convince me that she just couldn’t do it. I continued to coach and encourage her that she could. After all, she had accompanied me on plenty of shopping trips. “Just come with me,” she pleaded. “You’re a big girl, you got this!” I insisted. Finally, she hopped out and went off to buy a gallon of milk.
I will admit, I sat there anxiously. “What if?” I kept asking myself as I peered into the grocery store windows, watching everyone enter and exit. Although in reality she was only in there 8 minutes (I counted), it seemed like an eternity.
Sure enough, she bee-bopped out with a huge confident smile on her face and a gallon of milk in her hand. “That was easy, the lady at the checkout was really nice” she grinned. I just smiled and said, “Great job, you can keep the change.”
Another lesson learned. The sooner we can accomplish the uncomfortable or scary things in life, the sooner we will discover our God-given talents and be able to use them for great purposes. God’s plans for us are often much bigger than our own, pulling us away from our safe space. However, the more willing and trusting we become, the wider the doors of opportunity will open for us. These are lessons that can build confidence for both us and our kids!
Natalie Charrette is an always-laughing wife to Chris and proud mom to Tyler and Michaela. She is also the 8th grade teacher and Vice Principal at Bay Christian School in Concord, CA. In her spare time, she is the owner of Simple Steps Organization, where she finds joy in helping people organize their spaces and their lives!
There was an empty seat at our Christmas dinner table that year. Grandpa passed away on August 17, 2008, leaving a huge vacuum in our tight-knit family. Grandpa was not just any “grandpa” to me. He was the Best Man in my wedding, my roommate for 14 years as I grew up, and my mentor & friend who taught me that there has never been a better golfer than Tiger Woods.
Eight of us sat around the Christmas tree, remembering that the year before it was nine of us. Mom and Dad had special gifts for us three pairs of “kids-and-spouses” to open at the same time. Mom was sure to mention that these must be opened last. We all held the gifts and curiously opened them together once all the other ones had been unwrapped. Then we froze as each of us, along with our loved ones, began to cry. Inside the beautiful wrapping was a quilt with a note that said in part, “This quilt, made of Grandpa’s shirts, pajamas, bathrobe and jeans, was made with our love and tears for all of you to treasure and remember. ~Mom & Dad”
I am looking at the quilt right now. It is like looking at different parts of Grandpa’s life. I can remember different experiences and memories with him in each square. The brown and yellow plaid shirt is the one that I left at his house one time. He liked it, so he adopted it as his own. The bathrobe reminds me of his last Father’s Day, sitting in Grandpa’s room watching Tiger dominate the U.S. Open with an injured leg and listening to Gramps joke and laugh with me, my dad and my son. The gray wool shirt is the one he would often wear to church to dress up. Grandpa loved God and everyone knew it. The jeans are tired and worn out. He mowed, painted, nailed and built. Grandpa was a hard worker all of his life.
Grandpa’s quilt represents a life well-lived by a Godly man. Each fabric is woven with years of experience and Godly wisdom that my family and I can model. When I grow old, I wonder what my quilt will look like. The decisions I make today is the yarn that knits those squares. If I am to pass on a meaningful legacy and heritage to my children, my choices happen now. I just pray that my quilt is as rich, full and inspiring as Grandpa’s.
For a kid going to school in the morning, you’d think there would be a few necessities: clothes, lunchbox, backpack, shoes to name a few. But I realized a few months ago that my daughter may not have the same qualifications as me for a successful day of learning.
We all got in the car to leave and headed off. We weren’t late, but I had a meeting at school that day, so there wasn’t extra time to stop for coffee or anything like that. The drive was pretty normal and sports talk radio was on for all to enjoy or ignore. Then about 12 minutes into the ride, Reese informed me of this little tidbit: “Dad, I don’t have my shoes.” Have you ever really not known what to do as a parent and a million choices of what to do go through your mind at the same time? That was me at a stoplight while wondering how she did not notice that she was walking out to the car in bare feet. Continue reading Teaching Good Choice-Making: When I’m a Parent and I Don’t Know What I’m Doing