“Hey Dad, can you help me with something?” I didn’t realize when my 10-year old asked me this question last Saturday morning that the answer would take up the rest of the day and hurt both of us in different ways. I was folding laundry when she called me from the other room, because well… laundry. Anyhow, she came out and told me that she had a problem with her earring. Before looking at it, I thought, “Why would she ask me? Does she know that I formerly had not only an earring, but also dashingly stylish blonde highlights in my hair?” What else does this girl know about me? She said that something went wrong with the back of the earring when she was taking it out, so I turned her ear around to find that the earring back was literally INSIDE her ear lobe! My tummy turned, because I basically get light-headed at the sight of blood… or an earring stuck inside a lobe. I calmly told her that we would take care of this and that she would be fine. I internally said, “OH MY GAWSHHH!” Continue reading Being Available to Our Kids: Dad, Can You Help Me?
“Make it a point to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable every single day. You’ll be amazed by how empowered you’ll feel. And naturally, if you pass this lesson along to your kids, you’ll help them become confident and empowered too!” Read on as Natalie Charrette, 8th grade teacher and Vice Principal at Bay Christian School, shares how she taught her kids to overcome fear of the unknown.
Instilling confidence in our children, now grown, was always a parental priority for my husband and I. We always made it a point to role-play different scenarios to teach our son and daughter how to speak clearly, look a person in the eye when talking and shake hands firmly. We taught them to listen more and speak less. We conversed often about stepping out of their comfort zones and when feeling in doubt, ask questions within a conversation.
When our son, Tyler was in junior high, we attended a neighborhood party, which he begrudgingly joined, although it wasn’t an option. We gave him the mature task of conversing with an adult at some point during the evening, to which he just gave us the “yeah right” look. Part way through the party, as my husband and I were mingling we noticed Tyler, surrounded by an unfamiliar family. A mom, dad and kids were all talking and laughing with him. My husband and I looked at each other inquisitively and wondered who this family was… or who our son was for that matter! A little later, Tyler joined us in amazement at how well that question thing went. “So, this dad asked me if I played sports. The next thing I know we’re in a full conversation. I just kept asking him questions, then his family started talking to me. Before I knew it, we were all laughing together.”
Mission accomplished, our son learned a new skill that made him realize that speaking with adults and people you have never met is not as scary as it seems.
When our daughter Michaela was nine years old, I told her we were going to swing by the store to grab some milk. She smiled and nodded in agreement until I parked the car in front of the store and handed her some money. “Why are you giving me money?” she asked. “So you can buy some milk,” I responded. Next, it was a back-and-forth with her attempting to convince me that she just couldn’t do it. I continued to coach and encourage her that she could. After all, she had accompanied me on plenty of shopping trips. “Just come with me,” she pleaded. “You’re a big girl, you got this!” I insisted. Finally, she hopped out and went off to buy a gallon of milk.
I will admit, I sat there anxiously. “What if?” I kept asking myself as I peered into the grocery store windows, watching everyone enter and exit. Although in reality she was only in there 8 minutes (I counted), it seemed like an eternity.
Sure enough, she bee-bopped out with a huge confident smile on her face and a gallon of milk in her hand. “That was easy, the lady at the checkout was really nice” she grinned. I just smiled and said, “Great job, you can keep the change.”
Another lesson learned. The sooner we can accomplish the uncomfortable or scary things in life, the sooner we will discover our God-given talents and be able to use them for great purposes. God’s plans for us are often much bigger than our own, pulling us away from our safe space. However, the more willing and trusting we become, the wider the doors of opportunity will open for us. These are lessons that can build confidence for both us and our kids!
Natalie Charrette is an always-laughing wife to Chris and proud mom to Tyler and Michaela. She is also the 8th grade teacher and Vice Principal at Bay Christian School in Concord, CA. In her spare time, she is the owner of Simple Steps Organization, where she finds joy in helping people organize their spaces and their lives!
The most meaningful gift I have ever received is currently worth $2.99. One year when I was a kid, my family was having a particularly tough Christmas financially. We lived in a 2-bedroom apartment with my Dad, Mom, 2 sisters and Grandpa. Needless to say, no one got an X-Box or an LED TV that year. We had a Charlie Brown sort of a tree and some simple decorations that my mom had cobbled together.
We don’t do the “one present on Christmas Eve” thing in my family. We do the “all presents on Christmas Eve” thing. That night, my youngest sister passed out the gifts around the tree to each person in the room. That was her job and it still is, even though she’s 34 now. My lone gift was an envelope. Taking turns, everyone opened their presents and it finally got to me. I tore open my little envelope and found a note. The note was just a piece of paper with a handwritten clue on it. The clue led me to another clue in a different part of the apartment. That clue took me to another clue. In my PJ’s, I scurried from clue-to-clue, covering all 700 square-feet of that tiny apartment.
One of my favorite movie scenes is in “Hook,” the 1991 Peter Pan adaptation. Robin Williams plays a grown Peter who is now a stressed-out workaholic lawyer that has long since forgotten about the carefree fun of his childhood. This is until his lifetime nemesis, Captain Hook, kidnaps his children as he is forced to return to Neverland to rescue them. When he arrives there, he realizes that the only thing that has changed is him. His friends are still young and happy, and no one recognizes him, until a young boy curiously approaches him. It’s one of his old friends. Peter kneels down to the boy’s level and they look into each others eyes. There is silence as the boy takes Peter’s glasses off. He grabs his cheeks and squeezes the skin on his face, all the while staring at him. He intently examines his teeth and nose. Finally, a huge smile overtakes him and he exclaims, “Oh, there you are Peter!”Continue reading Seeing the Best in Our Kids: There you are Peter!