Is it Okay for Our Kids to Be Bored? Building Motivation and Creativity

You can already smell it in the air… pollen? Well, yes. But, I’m talking about summer. Children everywhere rejoice at the free horizons ahead of them! Parents, however, see right through this and know that by June 10, their sweet little ones will be whispering those seven letters that can make the summer screech to a halt- “I’m bored.”

All of us have heard this from our kids. My parents heard this from me during my childhood. They typically responded with, “Go outside.” Ugh, how could they?! Some parents today kick swiftly into gear at the mention of this phrase. IPads appear, Netflix is switched on, iPhones are handed out- anything to avoid the guilt associated with torturing a child with boredom.

As summer quickly approaches, it’s important to understand that “boredom” is not a curse word, especially relating to our kids. Actually, it can be of great benefit to them if we will just back away and let it happen sometimes.

  1. Boredom helps them practice for life. Our kids will grow up and stand in line, sit in doctors offices, drive in traffic, and endure tedious work meetings. Hopefully, they are used to managing this by then.
  2. Boredom builds creativity. Parenting author Nancy Blakey says, “I cannot plant imagination into my children. I can, however, provide an environment where their creativity is not just another mess to clean up, but welcome evidence of grappling successfully with boredom.” Yes!
  3. Boredom builds motivation. When I’m not setting up everything for my kids, they are forced to self-motivate and think. This too will be another skill that’s useful down the road. As child psychologist, Lyn Fry said, “If parents spend all their time filling up their child’s spare time, then the child’s never going to learn to do this for themselves.
  4. Boredom builds contentment. This applies to adults too… we GO too much! Some of us can hardly sit in quiet without wanting to hop up and do something. Contentment is strengthened when we bring calm and peace to our homes, teaching our kids that life is not just a series of activities that we jump one to the next.
  5. Boredom creates contributors, not consumers. If we allow it, our children will naturally slip into constantly “taking.” That’s how we’re all born! Allowing them to experience a little boredom gives them a chance to build and contribute, rather than simply wait for someone to do that for them.

“Preempt the time spent on television and organized activities and have them spend it instead on claiming their imaginations.” ~ Nancy Blakey

I can hear you asking, does this mean I just sit in a chaise lounge with my lemonade all summer?! Well, part of the time, but we are in this to train future adults, not toss them into the yard and hope for the best. With that in mind, here are a few ways to guide our kids through the boredom:

  1. FIRST, love on them. Cuddle them, eat breakfast with them, share regular and meaningful conversation with them. Parenting is a balance between making these deposits and building independence in them.
  2. Get them outside. The outdoors is somehow fertile for a child’s imagination. Things come to life out there that don’t in the house. Let them sweat, get dirty, and create out there… without your help.
  3. Create a no-screen zone. Give yourself permission to say YES to screens during the summer, but also to say NO sometimes. Screens will provide relief from the immediate boredom issue, but they will not shape creativity or encourage motivation. What they may do (as most parents know) is start an argument of some kind;)

This summer, be reminded and encouraged that you are doing a great job. Even during the “boring” days, there are chances to help our kids grow in character and life-skills. We can guide them to be creative, learn contentment, and gain motivation. This may not be glamorous, but it IS what counts!

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Trusting God With Our Kids: Advice From a Mom Who’s Been There

“Life does not always align with our well thought-out plans.  As a mom, this drove me crazy and left me feeling out of control.”  Read on as Barb Berglund, mother to four grown kids and grandma to one adorable little one, shares her perspective on finding strength as we parent.

The best advice I ever received on parenting (and really on anything) came from my oldest sister.  She told me to get a good pair of jeans!  I know what you’re thinking, because I was thinking the same thing.  What!?!?

Don’t get me wrong.  I like a new pair of jeans as much as the next person- dark wash, light wash, whatever.  But what does that have to do with anything?

Let me back up a bit.  I’m a planner.  I LOVE a good schedule and organization.  As I raised my four kids through each stage of childhood, it made me feel calm and in control.  In parenting (and life) this can be both good and bad.  Organization gave order to my busy life and helped me be productive.  It brought a sense of calm to the fast pace of our days.  I organized play dates, athletic events, school functions, meals, homework, family time, etc.  However, I quickly came to realize that kids don’t always follow the schedules we set out for them.  Life does not always align with our well thought-out plans.  As a mom, this drove me crazy and left me feeling out of control.

During one of these many moments, my sister, who knew me better than she even realized, gave me her advice about the jeans.  As any annoying baby sister would do, I asked “Why?”  Her answer?  “Because with your kids, the best thing you can do is be on your knees praying for them.”  Humbled?  Yup.  I was never in control.  God was and is in control, I just sometimes wouldn’t take the time to notice it.  He loves our children even more than we do and He has our back.  We can go to Him always about everything, knowing His plan is greater than ours!

What a relief, God has a plan.  By no means have I finished this parenting journey- I’m on to the grandkids, the fun part!  But at this point in my path, my suggestion for all parents is to go to Him with everything.  Thank Him for your kids health, their accomplishments, their joy.  Ask Him to provide for your needs and dreams.  If you’re like me, sometimes “Help!” is all you can speak .  If words fail me, I often speak the Lord’s Prayer or read Scripture aloud.  He meets me there and gives me the strength to put one foot in front of the other.  He loves us and our family and wants to hear from us.

So, I give you permission… go buy yourself a good pair of jeans!

Barb Berglund

Mother of 4

Gone through more jeans than I can count.

“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with ALL kinds of prayers and requests.”  ~Ephesians 6:18a

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